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Thoughts on Hatred


Understanding Hatred

I was born and raised in Jamaica. As a then British colony the English influence was significant. The country became independent in 1962 but remained a Commonwealth nation.

I was raised never to hate anyone – ever. You could dislike someone or not want to be around a person but you were never to hate anyone. I was raised Catholic and to hate was a sin. My mother was a living example of this moral. She hated no one. To this day I don’t believe she hates anyone.

As I grew older and went to college this concept of not hating was further driven into me by my Aunt. Her perspective was that hate was a wasted emotion and only caused hurt and problems. She said hate never solved any problem – neither did violence. She like my Mom never hated anyone. Actually she devoted her life to loving people – particularly children. While we disagreed on politics we loved each other and always believed there was no place for hate in this world.

As I graduated from college and went into business in America I saw many things that I thought were wrong and vile but I still held on to my belief that hate was a useless emotion. I always thought fear was a much better emotion because it could at least motivate you to do something. As we all know love is the best emotion but there is no place for that in business.

After 32 years of slugging it out in American business with overall success, I can still say I hate no one. Sure there are a bunch of folks I don’t like, another bunch I think are ignorant and dumb and even a few I think are criminals but none I hate. I have always conducted myself by the golden rule – treat others as you would like to be treated. I don’t believe in Karma per se but I do believe in human nature and if people are treated kindly and with respect more often than not they will reciprocate. I usually ignore the ones that don’t as they are obviously not worth the time.

I sadly have seen lots of hatred over the last 35 years in America and every time I encounter it my stomach turns. What can one possibly think they can achieve in this life by hating another person? Look I am not naive, if someone murdered my sister I would not like them and actually I would pray that the Lord take his revenge. What would my hating that person do for me or to him? Nothing I can ascertain.

So in practical terms why hate someone? Lots of people in my career have done me wrong. Some have even stolen from me and others have lied. I am not a Holy Roller but I guess I believe in the premise that we must forgive and that revenge is up to the Lord. Interestingly enough in every instance in my life when I have been wronged, with time, the Lord has delivered revenge. Sure this has at times been frustrating because I wanted instant retribution and I was angry, but I think being able to harness those emotions and throw them aside is what separates us from the apes.

Recently I have once again seen the ugly face of hate. It came in its worst form – anonymously. From a coward who did not have the guts to even share his/her hate openly. When one has lived life the way I have, one is pretty free from any regret (another wasted emotion) but my constant efforts to be a better person make me inquisitive about why this person hates me? If they could express their hatred appropriately is there something I could learn that would improve me? Or are they just ignorant and angry and nothing I do will ever make them better? Or have they misinterpreted my behavior and found hate because of that?

Who knows? What I do know is that when hate is directed at you it is a painful experience. And if it is not then perhaps you have not been living your life well. For me it is sad and confusing.

So to my young readers take heed – do not hate anyone. Regret is also a useless emotion, so don’t bother with it – let it go because you can’t go back. Anger is fine but just don’t let it turn to violence. Violence is only acceptable in self-defense or the defense of another. The truth is always the best policy no matter how tough it seems. Not all people are nice and even fewer are actually good but most are decent and just want to be treated kindly and with respect. Greed is the worst of the 7 Deadly Sins – so guard against it. Even more importantly understand that it is the driving emotion in most people – particularly in business. Own up to your mistakes and recognize everyone makes them – it is human.

So whoever out there hates me – do something good – come forward out of the shadows of Internet anonymity. Tell me why your hatred is so deep, tell me how I have caused this hatred and let us discuss it like two rational adults. For while I am bothered by it for a moment and primarily on an intellectual level, you must be torn up inside to have that much hate for this long. God Bless you and help you my hating friend.

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