The Thumb Generation
We have all heard about Baby Boomers, the IT generation and
Gen X etc. But how many of you have heard of the Thumb Generation? Well allow
me to do the introduction.
This rapidly growing group of folks around the world cuts across
age, sex, politics and religion. I guarantee you know one or many and you may
even be sitting next to one as you read this. However for the purposes of this
article I am going to define a certain segment of the Thumb Generation.
Specifically I am speaking of the founders of this Generation- a group that
ranges in age from 12 to 30 and have been raised on mobile technology. This soon
to be arthritic group has defined a new primary use for our opposing digit –
TYPING!
Let me describe them and see if you can spot one now. “A
young person, male or female, holding a cell phone and texting at a violent
rate using primarily their Thumbs.” Have
you found one yet? They are everywhere.
I have 4 in my family maybe 5. I say maybe because my wife
is being dragged into this cult of digital athletes’. This generation spends inordinate
amounts of time fiddling with their mobile devices. I have subtly tried to tell
them that what they have in their hands is a PHONE. This is totally lost on
them as they prefer to text each other than actually speak. Here is how bad it
is - I have caught them texting each other when they are sitting next to each
other!
When I was growing up if we wanted to learn to type we would
have to go to school. I never did hence my present position as one of the world’s
fastest two finger typer's. As I grew up I was hoping we would skip this awful
typing stage and go straight to voice recognition. Sadly that did not happen
but I digress.
These “Thumbers” are not the brightest group although they
are somewhat efficient. When texting started they found that typing was a pain
especially with just their thumbs on some miniature keyboard so they invented
their own abbreviated language to speed up the process. I am not kidding. You
can go online and find books and tutorials about this new “language”. Most of
them (and to some degree us) have learned the language the old fashioned way –
using it daily. I am still not fluent by any means but I have figured out what
LOL means - J
This language is so pervasive in our culture that it is used
on TV, in books, movies and even in conversation (which makes no sense at all).
The “Thumbers” have mastered it and keep adding to it daily. Why you might ask?
Well simply put they are lazy (or perhaps they have figured out that they will
have arthritic thumbs by the time they are 50 so they are trying to limit the
number of thumbing’s per day). Either way they strive for minimum characters to
say as much as they can. Here are a few of my favorites:
BRB – I thought
this meant the texter was burbling. Wrong, it means – be right back. I assumed
they used this when they needed a potty break from texting –wrong again. I have
witnessed many in the restroom peeing and texting one handed. Yes they are that
dexterous – they can text rapidly with one thumb.
Here is another great one DILLIGAS. Again I thought
that it had something to do with Dill pickles and Gas (a condition that occurs
naturally if you eat too many pickles). No my friends it means “Do I look like
I give a Shit”. Actually when I found out what this one was it made me ROTFLMAO (roll on the floor laughing my
ass off)
Then there is STBY.
As a pilot I thought this was short for Stand By. I was wrong again. It means “Sucks
to be you”. There is NIMBY, which is
not short for an African country. It means, ”Not in my back yard”.
We could go on forever but IRL that would suck. (In real life)
So I have a few questions. We use these phones for texting primarily
so why do we have the phone part? As fast as these geniuses are with their
fancy short cut language they can’t beat a rapid conversation so why not use
the phone? I am particularly confused about texting someone in the same room as
you. Unless you are conveying a dirty limerick while eating at grandma’s house
why not just talk?
I found out that a great deal of this started because kids
wanted a way to chat while around their parents without their parents knowing.
It has now mushroomed into this whole sub culture of which we are all now a
part. Since texts still can’t generally be traced or tracked on a mobile device
it has transformed into a new confidential way to communicate (unless you lose
your phone).
So is it any wonder that along with the advent of no longer
talking much that we have some very antisocial folks in this new Thumb
Generation. I worry that this generation will lack the social skills to compete
IRL. Proof of my concern has emerged
recently. This same generation when they speak have butchered the English
language. Perhaps this is because they are not practicing it or perhaps it is
because they are confused between their text language and real English?
If you listen to them when they do speak, you find there is
a common word they all use and over use – LIKE. For the life of me I can’t
understand it. So I did some research and found that “like” is typically used
in English as a preposition, conjunction, and a verb. However, today it is
being used as an adverb, as a quotative, a hedge and even a discourse particle.
I also found that these bastard uses of the word “like” really started back as
early as the 20’s in a New Yorker cartoon but were driven to prominence by
Frank Zappa’s song Valley Girl and the movie of the same name (released in
1982). I can’t say I am surprised about Frank’s involvement as I knew when he
named his children “moon unit and Dwzeeil” we were in big trouble. I was
further saddened to realize, as with so much that is Pop culture, California
has been the driving force behind this colloquial speech trend.
The use of the word “like” by the Thumb Generation has been
driving me crazy for the last 2 years and I continue to see an upward trend. My
wife and several of the women her age are even prone to using it from time to
time and my sons and their friends seem hopelessly addicted to the word.
On a recent cross country flight I was seated in front of
two young male Thumbers who were engaged in an excited conversation. (I was initially
thrilled that they were actually talking). In the space of less than 15 minutes
(at which point I grabbed my Bose noise cancelling headphones so that I would
not reach over the seat and strangle them both) they said the word “like” over
100 times.
So where are we when our culture is dominated by a rapidly
growing group of Thumb Gens who text more and speak less, have their own
language which when spoken includes the use of the word “like” so often that it
could make your ears bleed and who lack social skills but are secretive and
often educated?
I’ll tell you where we are – falling behind. We are now in a
global economy and have to compete in ways as never before. Emerging nations
like China and India are gaining massive economic power and have more than double
our population. Do you think that when they learn English (as most are today)
they are learning how to abuse the word “like”? While I am sure they are not, rest
assured that they are part of the Thumb Generation, texting their primary
digits off. The bad news is that they are also looking at ways to harness the
power of these mobile devices (and their users) to sell products and services
and explode their economy.
All is not lost. We too are finding ways to
reach the Thumb Generation and mobile commerce is growing faster than nearly
any sector in the US. Add that while many of these T Gens lack social skills
they make up for it with technological prowess that is driving this mobile
revolution. And parents of young ones, worry not there is hope, for the newest invention
in mobile technology is voice recognition. So it appears
that someone has realized that talking is faster, teaches social skills and
communicates at a depth texting never can (even with its own language). Sadly
this voice recognition, for now, is targeted at talking to machines (computers)
but I hope with time even the machines will learn the appropriate use of the
word “like” and I take great solace in the fact that the Thumb language still
includes – XOXO. For without love we
are doomed.