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Men, Women and Toilets

I know this is a strange title but I think it is time we chat about this. Men and women have very different feelings about this common tool of life and some of our mores are hilarious. Billions of people use a toilet multiple times a day. We actually have an interesting relationship with toilets. Here are some facts about toilets before we go any further:
  • There is strong debate over who invented the first toilet - the Greeks or the Scots
  • Nearly 2 billion people still don't have normal sanitation (toilets)
  • In 1596 Sir John Harrington invented the water closet - precursor to the modern toilet
  • Some 200 years later Alexander Cummings developed the S shape to keep foul odors out
  • In the 1880's Thomas Crapper installed many toilets in royal palaces - he did not invent the modern toilet - oh Crap - I thought he did!
  • In 1775 Joseph Bramah modified Cummings design and developed the hinged flap and the float valve system which he patented in 1778
  • In the nineteenth century flush toilets began to grow in popularity along with proper sewage systems
  • In the 1870's Thomas Twyford made the wash out trap toilet - what we call a flushing toilet. Throughout the next few decades the design improved & flush toilets grew in popularity
  • In 1907 Thomas Stewart invented the vortex-flushing bowl -cleaning with each flush
  • Philip Haas added the flushing ring using water to clean the bowl further
  • Bruce Thomas developed the Douset toilet in the 1980's with 2 flushing options to save water
Then we have urinals which are just for men and bidets which are just for women but we won't address either in this blog. We also have tons of names for toilets - lavatory, the loo, WC, the Privy, Dunny, Netty, Latrine, the Crapper, the Jacks and of course the outhouse.


So toilets are an integral part of American society. Interestingly the basic design has not changed much since the early 1900's and yet it is such an important tool. We have sent folks to the moon, we have smart phones, we can Skype and we have smart TV's but our loos are old. Specifically they are all still ceramic, they all flush in some manner, they all look very similar, and all are about the same size. I know there have been some one off $35,000 toilets but I am focused on the every person toilet. Sure we have tried to dress them up and lately have even added some tech to them just for fun. For example we have lavish toilets that offer features such as automatic-flushing mechanisms that flush a toilet or urinal when finished through infrared signals; water jets, or "bottom washers" like a bidet; blow dryers; artificial flush sounds to mask noises; and urine and stool analysis for medical monitoring. Matsushita's "Smart Toilet" checks blood pressure, temperature, and blood sugar. Some feature automatic lid operation, heated seats, deodorizing fans, Bluetooth music or automated paper toilet-seat-cover replacers.


So why am I writing about the toilet? Well for men this is a very special tool and sacarscant place. Unlike most women, men cherish their time on the pot. We use it as a place of solitude. A place to read and relax. Conversely most women want to get in and out ASAP. I wonder why that is? Is it something in our evolved DNA? Or are men just smarter? Men you will enjoy my thoughts. Women I know I am in deep doo doo (excuse the pun).


Yes I said smarter. I know in most things women are brighter than us but this maybe one area we are ahead. You see women suffer from constipation more than men (medical fact-look it up). While I am sure that there is some fiber argument I think it is because they rush going to the toilet. One has to relax and let the body do its thing. It is also a place for only one. I have seen women try to go with kids around or while talking to girlfriend outside the stall. This is sacrilege!


Then there is the whole toilet seat thing. This is an issue I need to understand. Men pee standing up (for the most part) and so somehow we have the burden of lifting the toilet seat? Then to add insult to this misery, men are expected to put the seat back down again? Really? Why?


Women have equal rights, they have burned their bras, fought for women's lib and compete in the work place, the armed forces and many athletics against men. So why do they not have to handle the toilet seat? Are men to get all the germs? I think this should be a shared responsibility


I hear women say "do you know how horrible it is to go to the toilet and sit on the cold ceramic rim?" I'm sure it is shocking and unpleasant but what I can't understand is why one would do that? Don't you look at the toilet before sitting on it? Or are you rushing too much? Even late at night a simple reach up shows whether the seat is up or down. I think women hate the toilet and see it as a nasty necessary evil. They rush the process and in doing so often do not look at the toilet seat position and sometimes (if they are small) end up falling in.  There I said it!


Women should try leaving the seat up for men once in awhile. I know that when I use a unisex toilet I am very careful not to "splash" and always lift the seat. Lately however, I have been leaving the seat up for the next guest! I know call me a radical but this is my little silent rebellion.


Little known factoid - in Cuba many toilets have no toilet seats? It appears they can't get them readily and even in some rural hotels there were no toilets seats at all. Some say that all the public toilet seats are gone cause folks steal them for their homes. I like to think that the Cubans are communists and accordingly treat all equally, and rather than debate who lifts the seats, just removes them - end of argument!


I always like to end a blog on a good note. I found the coolest toilet gadget this week. It is a No Touch flushing device. Yes, all you do is waive your hand above the back of the toilet and Bam it flushes! Amazing and can be installed easily on most toilets. It is also very sanitary as you never have to touch a nasty germy handle again. Guys they are not expensive so go get one and enjoy the flush!



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